Bentley’s official site
11-15 Swallow Street, London, W1B 4DGT +44 (0)20 7734 4756
Six oysters plus glass £9.95

How long does it take to shuck open twelve oysters? Forty-five minutes at Bentley’s – maybe there’s mythical preparatory work involved, but I was completely baffled on this visit. Note, this is not a review.

Service, absent.

Let me introduce you to bartender Tim.

Tim looks like an intelligent and strapping young master, except he’s a lot more interested in chatting with the offshore bank accountant who is sitting at the far end of the bar from me, than actually serving me.

“18 pence per share, FTSE 100 company, I’m not kidding” says Timmyboy.

“eh?” I was thinking more along the lines of £10 half dozen oysters and a glass of wine. Turns out he’s not talking to me, even though he chose to pop a wine bottle in my face and shout across the bar (but to my face) to the silver hair gentlemen who can’t seem to stop announcing to the room that he is in fact, an offshore bank accountant.

Ok let’s try that again. Five minutes of trying to establish eye contact with Mr Stockbroker behind the bar later…

“Hi there, can I get your oysters please?” says me.

“Garble garble garble…. 18pence, went up to 36p last month, I kid you not.” says Tim.

Me: “Oysters, please”
Him: “Right. Oysters. That’s it?”
Me: “What else do you recommend?”
Tim: “Garble garble. I think it’s up to 59p last I checked.”
Me: “….”

Then, he walks toward the gentlemen and reaches his perfectly cropped head toward the man’s ear, as if he was whispering sweet nothings to Diane Kruger. I attempt to re-establish eye contact with Timilicious, perusing time-honoured headbobbing techniques until our eyes snap in contact with one another and he finally walks toward me. (this is a short bar, no more than 3 meters in length)

Him: “Yes, what can I get you?”
Me: “The half dozen plus a glass of white, what wine would you recommend?”
Him: “Its all good.”

Before I had the chance to point to something on the winelist, Mr offshore bank accountant decides to announce to the world that he’s leaving. No surprise, Tim leaves me hanging and rushes to his highness to usher him out the door. He cannot hide his enthusiasm and stretches his hand out and introduces himself “Tim! I’m here all week next week, come back again and we’ll chat more.”

Gosh, what excellent service, now why didn’t I become an offshore bank accountant I wonder.

From start to finish, its about half an hour, and only then did he bother to pour us our glasses of wine.

Him: “This is Spanish, O.K.?”

And he disappears into the next room, never to be seen again. I was so glad when the manageress tapped on me to let me know there was a table in the outside area, I ran out.

Did I mention a £2 cover charge plus 12.5% (non) service?

Appalling.

Seriously, how long?

By the time they brought out our glasses of white which were still sitting on the bar, the cool crispness had become a warm vinegar. Another five minutes pass, I had to gently remind them to bring out our bread, to which the waiter replied: “Oh, we knew that. We were just heating up new ones, just in case it went stale”

Ha.ha.ha.

Forty five minutes into this sitting, our oysters finally appear.

Ok. So here’s the good thing, the oysters were excellent. In fact, they were so good, they might possibly have been the best I’ve ever eaten in London, so far. They were mineral and refreshing, the texture was so creamy that one need not have to hold his breathe to eat them. There werent any strong aftertastes or offensive fishiness.

A squige of lemon here, a splash of shallots vinegar there; Sizzling acidity which went down so smooth, I was inclined to believe that these oysters had true aphrodisiac powers. Oh yummy. Similarly, the bread was top notch – the brown ones appear to be a kind of oat bread, with a sweetish floury flavour and chocolatey aroma.

Right then, slurp, slurp, slurp. That’s twelve oysters and two glasses done. 4pm, time to go. I walked in at 3. The bill takes, oh just about 20 minutes to get to me. And we find that they’ve charged an additional £6 for non-existent cherry clams. Very creative, we send it back. Another 15 minutes later, the real bill reappears. Finally.

Maybe next time, not. 

In the end, we refused the ‘discretionary’ 12.5%, this was the first time I’ve ever done this, as I really felt it was undeserved. Service was dismissive and disrespectful. What was suppose to be a quick oyster slurping session on a sunny Sunday afternoon, turned into abit of a nightmare. There was still the mandatory £2 cover charge per person – that’s four quid, for what? Dodgy stock putting advice from a wannabe broker? Wrong side of the bar and wrong profession altogether.

18p per share anyone?

Carelessness I can forgive, especially if the staff are indeed trying and if the food is up to scratch. Yes, the Bentley’s £10 deal for 6 delicious oysters and a glass of pretty able bodied wine is indeed a very good deal. So much so, I’d go as far as to say that they were worth the 45 minute wait. But having to endure the most egotistical of arrogant barman (I complain about poor bartending, because I’ve worked behind bars before) ever to grace restaurant bars; utterly infuriating.

Perhaps this was just bad luck, an off day and maybe you guys have had better visits, I would really like to believe that, hence the non-review.

If you are reading this Mr Corrigan, I respect you and your work, but seriously take a deeper look into the front of house at Bentley’s.

L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon Official Site
13-15 West Street WC2H 9NE 0207 010 8600
Set Lunch £25 for three courses; Ala carte £expensive.

Photography is an addiction. The kit lens that comes packaged with a standard digital SLR is never enough, all it does is make you lust after the very best lenses either Nikon or Canon have in their arsenal. I am £400 poorer but oddly enough, feeling good about it. What better way to celebrate this than to lunch at the two Michelin starred, internationally hyped sensation that is L’atelier de Joel Robuchon.

Lunch munch.

As of writing, this is my fourth visit to a restaurant with two Michelin stars. A grand total of seven two star restaurants belong in London (as of 2009) including Alain Ducasse, Hibiscus, Le Gavroche, Marcus Wareing, Pied a Terre, the Capital and the Square. Not all will produce a stunning meal, most will hit a certain standard (as you’d expect) and all will burn a hole in your wallet.

Unless of course, if you’re here to sample the everyman £25 set lunch. I’ll be comparing my Robuchon experience with my visits to other multi-michelin star places, bearing in mind that this cut price meal really represents a preview of a full blown dinner experience. Besides, the head chef wasn’t even in the kitchen on the day.

Interactive Dining

I really wonder about marketing blurb and where it comes from, sometimes its so pretentious, it downright corny. I pulled this off the robuchon website regarding their concept:

“The philosophy of the counter where you dine at L’Atelier is one of interactivity. The eating counter surrounds the entire kitchen where the diners’ food is prepared. Robuchon utilises this format as a chef can actually gauge the reaction of his clients, and even converse with those regulars that wish to participate. In turn diners may watch their food being prepared by consummate professionals in the Japanese inspired lay out”

So it’s an exposed kitchen, and the chef can come up to you and stare you down – if you play with your food – or in my case, stare me down while I photograph my (his) dishes.

The restaurant is absolutely gorgeous. The sleek black marble is accompanied by plush red linings, the branding is both memorable and exciting. There is even a whole wall panel of leaves and it looks real, if indeed it is real. With the usual chic chillout music tracks playing in the background, one does feel as if he’s dining out at the capital’s latest and greatest.

Robuchon features table-cloth free high tables and high stools, though I was happy that front of house chose to sit us in the counter area with full view of the exposed kitchen. The bar setting is now adopted by newer restaurants in the city, though, watching the kitchen do its magic is still a wonder to behold, especially a two Michelin starred one.

Starters

On to the food then. The set lunch is £25 for three courses and £19 for two; both my brother and I went for three courses. We did consider the ala carte menu, which looks to me like it’s French inspired Italian/Spanish fusion what with the small dishes to share, each hovering the £15-20 mark. Ouch.

In the end we decided the hefty price tag was just a little outside of our budget, for now.

Le Petit Pois. Pea soup with crusty croutons.

My brother’s first course was a warm plate of pea soup – an underused ingredient – and superlatively incorporated in this dish. The loving mix was milky and creamy with fine graininess and it tasted not unlike a creamy vanilla infused honeydew milkshake. The bubbly soup was umami rich and the concentrated pea flavours amounted to good body in the soup. A clinical dish, very tasty and it suitably opened up appetite.

Les Asperges. Warm white asparagus with french dressing.

Apparently, its in season. I really liked the vinaigrette the delicately cooked asparagus was served with. Bursting citrus flavours against a backdrop of garlic and pepper, it provided for a tender sizzling sensation. Like the pea soup, it wasn’t anything particularly creative, rather it was just juicy vegetables, but very well done.

Mains

I probably should mention that the bread was fantastic but even more so was the heavenly butter which it was served with. It was the salted variety, and it carried a refreshing creamy hit.

Le Saumon D’ecosse. Salmon, spiced honey and curry polenta.

The salmon was cooked well done, I appreciated the oily yet crispy fried salmon skin, though I would have preferred this one just slightly undercooked. It didn’t taste like it was seasoned, a little bland, and really, nothing special about it. On the other hand, the curry polenta it came with was very, very good. In fact, it was so good, we initially thought it was a dollop of smooth scrambled eggs. Just lightly infused with curry, it had nicely rounded aromatic cumin flavours. The highlight was the richness of the mixture and the creamy fine grain was a real treat. Amazing polenta, but with so-so salmon.

L’Onglet. Steak tartar with baby potatoes.

Some of you might get feel a little squeamish with tartar, essentially an uncooked mince beef burger, though, I love steak tartar (I like my food just alittle too raw..). Anyway, the mince was grounded down a fine grain, so the texture was very smooth indeed. The typical shallot-caper-pepper flavours were noticeable, and appetising; I also detected zingy heat on the palette as well – perhaps down to a few drips of tabasco sauce. Technically speaking, it’s a perfect tartar, just like the ones you would have in Paris or Belgium, but I guess that almost means that it’s nothing spectacular either. Thankfully, much like the polenta, the potatoes and beans on the side were superiorly cooked. Salty, toasty and full of roastness – the warmth from the vegetables was a perfect contrast to the smooth steak paste. A seemingly simple dish, well executed. The tartar was so smooth, it was spreadable on bread and I thoroughly enjoyed this as a light lunch.

This is just a preview, no?

Pudding du jour was a rather imposing looking chocolate tart, with gooey chocolate sauce smothered over it, served with a rum sorbet of sorts on the side. Sadly, the ganache underneath the sauce was much too dry, so much so, it took several swipes of the fork to finally cut a piece out, which by then looked as if Hannibal Lecter had a go at it. Oh, and it tasted pretty dry as well, and the rum sorbet was much like frozen flavoured water; looked great but sadly the pudding didnt show up. I opted to finish with a slither of Brie de Meaux served with a cranberry compote on the side. The cheese was so well matured, I could taste a mushroom explosion, and my brother nearly fainted as I told him that – very smelly, indeed. A good sign I’m sure.

This was a favourable experience. It was pretty clear that this set menu was a cut down version of its fancy ala carte; the dishes were simple, straightforward and classic recipes, nothing particularly outstanding. My first reaction: underwhelming. Being a two michelin starred restaurant, there was nothing spectacular in the set menu to suggest its heady reputation. To its credit though, I actually enjoyed this set lunch, which was simple, classical food, but very well executed.

A light lunch that did the trick, without resorting to tricks. If this were a meal at a ‘normal’ restaurant, I would have been singing louder praises, but being a two star place, one expects extra-special even if it’s just the set. I was rather curious as to why there was an obvious lack of freebies. Comparing contemporaries: The similarly priced Hibiscus set lunch was awe-inspiring, with two amuse bouches and some of his signature stuff as one of the courses. Marcus Wareing offers his £35 set with his famed egg custard pudding, complete with two in between amuse bouches and petit fours for you to take home. So in comparison, Robuchon is clearly none too bothered with the budget fine dining market. Clearly, the set menu pales in comparison with the ala carte, so much so, that I get the feeling the set menu is much like a herald to get diners to throw money at his ala carte. Hmm, not a nice feeling.

In closing, this review really, is more of a preview (maybe I should start doing previews…) because it’s no way an accurate representation of a true Robuchon experience (for the purists among you), hence I will need to revisit to get more bang. Shame I’ve already spent most of the buck on my camera…

The Gist of It.

L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon Official Site
13-15 West Street WC2H 9NE 0207 010 8600
Set Lunch £25 for three courses; Ala carte £expensive.

Verdict: Robuchon is a signature name, so you can’t go wrong. Its a solid set lunch for the money, although, for the money there are significantly better budget fine dining lunches around.