Bentley’s official site
11-15 Swallow Street, London, W1B 4DGT +44 (0)20 7734 4756
Six oysters plus glass £9.95

How long does it take to shuck open twelve oysters? Forty-five minutes at Bentley’s – maybe there’s mythical preparatory work involved, but I was completely baffled on this visit. Note, this is not a review.

Service, absent.

Let me introduce you to bartender Tim.

Tim looks like an intelligent and strapping young master, except he’s a lot more interested in chatting with the offshore bank accountant who is sitting at the far end of the bar from me, than actually serving me.

“18 pence per share, FTSE 100 company, I’m not kidding” says Timmyboy.

“eh?” I was thinking more along the lines of £10 half dozen oysters and a glass of wine. Turns out he’s not talking to me, even though he chose to pop a wine bottle in my face and shout across the bar (but to my face) to the silver hair gentlemen who can’t seem to stop announcing to the room that he is in fact, an offshore bank accountant.

Ok let’s try that again. Five minutes of trying to establish eye contact with Mr Stockbroker behind the bar later…

“Hi there, can I get your oysters please?” says me.

“Garble garble garble…. 18pence, went up to 36p last month, I kid you not.” says Tim.

Me: “Oysters, please”
Him: “Right. Oysters. That’s it?”
Me: “What else do you recommend?”
Tim: “Garble garble. I think it’s up to 59p last I checked.”
Me: “….”

Then, he walks toward the gentlemen and reaches his perfectly cropped head toward the man’s ear, as if he was whispering sweet nothings to Diane Kruger. I attempt to re-establish eye contact with Timilicious, perusing time-honoured headbobbing techniques until our eyes snap in contact with one another and he finally walks toward me. (this is a short bar, no more than 3 meters in length)

Him: “Yes, what can I get you?”
Me: “The half dozen plus a glass of white, what wine would you recommend?”
Him: “Its all good.”

Before I had the chance to point to something on the winelist, Mr offshore bank accountant decides to announce to the world that he’s leaving. No surprise, Tim leaves me hanging and rushes to his highness to usher him out the door. He cannot hide his enthusiasm and stretches his hand out and introduces himself “Tim! I’m here all week next week, come back again and we’ll chat more.”

Gosh, what excellent service, now why didn’t I become an offshore bank accountant I wonder.

From start to finish, its about half an hour, and only then did he bother to pour us our glasses of wine.

Him: “This is Spanish, O.K.?”

And he disappears into the next room, never to be seen again. I was so glad when the manageress tapped on me to let me know there was a table in the outside area, I ran out.

Did I mention a £2 cover charge plus 12.5% (non) service?

Appalling.

Seriously, how long?

By the time they brought out our glasses of white which were still sitting on the bar, the cool crispness had become a warm vinegar. Another five minutes pass, I had to gently remind them to bring out our bread, to which the waiter replied: “Oh, we knew that. We were just heating up new ones, just in case it went stale”

Ha.ha.ha.

Forty five minutes into this sitting, our oysters finally appear.

Ok. So here’s the good thing, the oysters were excellent. In fact, they were so good, they might possibly have been the best I’ve ever eaten in London, so far. They were mineral and refreshing, the texture was so creamy that one need not have to hold his breathe to eat them. There werent any strong aftertastes or offensive fishiness.

A squige of lemon here, a splash of shallots vinegar there; Sizzling acidity which went down so smooth, I was inclined to believe that these oysters had true aphrodisiac powers. Oh yummy. Similarly, the bread was top notch – the brown ones appear to be a kind of oat bread, with a sweetish floury flavour and chocolatey aroma.

Right then, slurp, slurp, slurp. That’s twelve oysters and two glasses done. 4pm, time to go. I walked in at 3. The bill takes, oh just about 20 minutes to get to me. And we find that they’ve charged an additional £6 for non-existent cherry clams. Very creative, we send it back. Another 15 minutes later, the real bill reappears. Finally.

Maybe next time, not. 

In the end, we refused the ‘discretionary’ 12.5%, this was the first time I’ve ever done this, as I really felt it was undeserved. Service was dismissive and disrespectful. What was suppose to be a quick oyster slurping session on a sunny Sunday afternoon, turned into abit of a nightmare. There was still the mandatory £2 cover charge per person – that’s four quid, for what? Dodgy stock putting advice from a wannabe broker? Wrong side of the bar and wrong profession altogether.

18p per share anyone?

Carelessness I can forgive, especially if the staff are indeed trying and if the food is up to scratch. Yes, the Bentley’s £10 deal for 6 delicious oysters and a glass of pretty able bodied wine is indeed a very good deal. So much so, I’d go as far as to say that they were worth the 45 minute wait. But having to endure the most egotistical of arrogant barman (I complain about poor bartending, because I’ve worked behind bars before) ever to grace restaurant bars; utterly infuriating.

Perhaps this was just bad luck, an off day and maybe you guys have had better visits, I would really like to believe that, hence the non-review.

If you are reading this Mr Corrigan, I respect you and your work, but seriously take a deeper look into the front of house at Bentley’s.

There’s only so many ways I can photograph a business card, but that’s all Hache burgers left me with after my visit to Timeout’s best burger place. I didn’t understand their refusal for pictures but I tell you what, I might have just ate the best fish burger… ever.

A thousand words is worth a burger

It’s going to be a little different from my other restaurant reviews, in that I was not allowed to take pictures in this burger place. Odd I must say, I wouldn’t have expected a chic and relaxing burger bar banning photos of their juicy creations. No bother really, I’m going to do this old school style and flex those copywriting muscles.

A reputation to envy

You should know by now that I hold the timeout guide in high regard. This year they bestowed upon Hache , their best burger award. If you search the web and keep your ears open on the streets, you’ll find that there’s alot nice words like ‘juicy’ , ‘lovely’ , ‘delicious’ , ‘ohh..’ being used in the same sentence with Hache. Word of mouth is a pretty powerful thing and you know that just means one thing – I have to check it out.

Hachin’ it

Following my visit to burger shack, I’ve decided to follow up on that review with a loose series of visits to some of the best burger bars in the city. Hache brands themselves as Burger Connoisseurs, that’s a pretty bold claim especially when it comes to dealing with fast food. But these days with a general trend towards healthier eating ( even McDs have re branded with ‘healthy deli buns’ ) , making the ol’ burger fit for posh palettes seem appropriate. Besides, I think there’s a little bit of burger connoisseur in every one of us. Yes, admit it, you love a good hearty burger.

Constructing the decor

It’s wet and rainy as I write this so the atmosphere is alittle dreary to say the least. I am in need of a warm burger to clear those rainclouds. There’s two branches one in camden and the other on fulham road. I headed towards the fulham road branch today and it’s immediately recognisable as the outside is a beautiful brown wood and does seem to exude the appearance of a connoisseur.

Stepping through the door, I am greeted by loud 80′s pop music, pots of green plants hanging off the door, mirrors on white walls and fairy lights in the shape of floral patterns. The lights are low and lend it a an urban candle-lit atmosphere. Also, I should mention the mini chandeliers hanging off the exposed white ceilings with which the wooden beams are visible. The space is very reminiscent of a family run restaurant who’ve had a secret burger recipe which has been passed down from the centuries. Aside from the blaring 80s music, the restaurant is alive and cosy and is coloured with the brilliant grilled smell in the air.

Something delicious is definitely cooking in the kitchen.

Duck, lamb, fish and anything you can put between two pieces of flour

How many ways can you dress a burger up anyway? It’s just meat in buns isn’t it?

I got to say, these guys deserve an award just from judging their menu alone; there are a multitude of options available! In addition to the standard beef + innovative add-on , they have options made from english shoulder lamb , dabble with a venison in a rich coating of cassis and even indulge in the aromatic crispy duck option. I mean, seriously, the description of the options alone seem they belong in a restaurant serving proper meals. Do have a read at the full menu here.

Gone fishing

I’m a seafoodie , fresh seafood is just good no matter how you cook it. Being that they are connoisseurs – I just had to order something a little less common to test their mettle. Not that fish burger is a rarity in any case, while I do love the angus option at Burger king, I tend to enjoy their ocean’s catch a lot more.

I spotted this on the menu:

COD A CROÛTE. Chunky Cod Steak topped with our chef’s own recipe of crust of blue cheese, red pepper, corriander and a touch of chilli … £9.50

Sounds really unique especially that crust with a medley of ingredients. I took the plunge with this. As it’s lunchtime ( and I actually just woke up by the way…. so er, it was actually fish burger for breakfast.. ok brunch. ) I also ordered their banana berry smoothie which was frothy and very light as well as some thin frites on the side.

Finally sinking my teeth in

The plate is deliciously beautiful. The bread is a rather dry ciabatta bread, which is crusty but soft on the inside. I appreciate the fact that it’s dry because that helps mop up and suck in all the juices from the burger.

If indeed the burger is juicy that is.

Complimenting the burger are the run-of-the-mill fresh and delicious giant tomato slices and super fresh lettuce. The burger is served semi-open, so the fish is exposed. I normally dip my head into the dish when it comes to the table just to take in the aromas of freshly cooked food. A deep breath and I’m just absolutely swooning, that grilled fish smell is very nice indeed. The searedness comes through just nice and I’m in abit of grilled heaven. The first cut and I can see that the fish is just on the side of perfectly grilled. The fish flakes perfectly being that it is just ever so slightly undercooked ensuring that the fish’s texture is still not falling apart and thus still has a bouncy bite rather than an overcooked chewiness to it. Hats off to the chef getting the cooking spot-on.

I will note that this is a pretty big chuck of cod, so there’s no way for me to pick up the burger and take a bite out of it ( which I would have loved to do, but fearing it may be abit of a messy affair for public eyes.. ) . Wow, wow, wow, the grilled smokey taste comes straight through and it’s just so nicely seasoned peppery , a little garlicky and just full of that fresh cod goodness. I have a sneak suspicion the rich tastes partly come from the excellent crust which accompany the fish. The crust is more likely described as a thinly grilled savoury cake of sorts. It’s definitely as advertised on the menu being cheesy, peppery and alittle fiery at the end of it as well. I’ll note now that while the fish itself is not oozing juices, though it’s not meant to be, it does taste just so hearty.

I have got to say, this is an excellent fish burger that is well-executed, probably the best I’ve ever and miles better than an ocean’s catch. This definitely does seem like burger taken to gourmet levels, but thankfully it hasnt taken on any snotty pretentiousness.

Thoughts

I forgot to mention that the frites are very tasty as well. They are fried crispyly and are full of that nice potato flavour. So, at the end of this meal, I am left nodding along to their reputation, I must say I thought I knew burgers but Hache really helped re-introduced me to burgers. Now, if you’re clamoring for some pictures, do pay a visit to their website here , but if you are after, dare i say, the best burger in town , do pay them a visit.

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Definitions aside, sushi is one of my favourite types of food, its healthy (only 3% fat apparently), simple and tastes great.

fish, rice, wasabi & soya sauce

I must admit I don’t know enough about Japanese cuisine as a whole, but I do have a pretty clear idea of ‘London sushi’. I am always curious about authenticity and I am sure that ‘real’ sushi will taste different from the anglicised versions. I’ll say now the best sushi I’ve ever had was in Sydney. If I remember correctly, it was a place called Makoto. Australia being Australia, they have the freshest fish and produce stunning sushi. 

old school versus nu-tro

New-style sushi, in general, are a variation of the classic california roll (which was interestingly created in the 60′s by a sushi chef working in LA), some examples are stuff like tempura stuffed sushi with unagi (grilled eel) on the outside and cream cheese sushi sandwiches. 

In Sakura you won’t find this new-style sushi as it features the more traditional offerings that highlight the freshness and natural flavours. Classic never goes out of fashion … because it’s just timelessly good.

buy a mac, have a salmon nigiri

Sakura is on handover street which is the next street down from the Apple store on Regent Street. Its in a great location and has a reputation of being the best Japanese restaurant in London, that nobody seems to talks about.

Then again, if your restaurant was packed out almost every night, I guess you don’t really need to advertise that aggressively. Unless you sit at the sushi bar, waiting times are usually about half an hour, maybe a little bit longer on the weekends. A quick glance at the clientele and you can be assured that food will be great. Why? Because there are lots of Japanese diners. 

tell me about the food already

I love coming here for a saturday lunch, my usual spot is the sushi bar. The guy in the picture is the lunchtime sushi chef (lets call him Master T). He’s made me a happy diner, many a times. (hmm..) I dont know what it is about sitting at the sushi bar, its just such a city thing to do you know, sip tea (or sake), read a book, or soduku while you wait for your food, people brushing past you because of the tight space, its just so atmospheric and an experience in itself.

Just look at the colour of the salmon, wow, I’m salivating already.

raw fish = colour 

I started with one of my all time favourites – the spicy sashimi salad. For 5 quid, you get a medley of sashimi. I found the following in mine: salmon, prawns, fish roe, sea bass, turbot, abit of scallop, squid and white fish. The greens included: raw seaweed, some lettuce, cucumber and a really nice spicy sauce to give the salad much needed moist and flavour.

Now you might think that this is too good to be true, as a couple of dainty pieces of salmon would easily set you back 4 pounds..clearly something is amiss.

Well, here’s the catch, the sashimi pieces in the salad are not the premium fish portions. What usually happens when they prepare sashimi, is that they cut away alot of the chewy bits until they get to the core of the meat (which is smooth and tender). Its part of the reason why sashimi is so pricy because there’s alot of wastage. Smart restaurants repackage the wastage into their salads.

Ok, its not as silky smooth, some is too chewy, but its still very edible, especially with that killer spicy sauce. Great value.

nigiri, the thinking man’s choice 

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy sushi rolls, but there’s something about nigiri sushi. The simplicity of the cooking (er, non-cooking?) really emphasizes the ingredients. Its like the chef’s skills have been stripped to the core and he needs to prove himself with only two ingredients, the rice and the topping.

I ordered my ‘benchmark’ selection of salmon, tamago and scallop. I would have ordered toro (belly tuna) but they were completely sold out when I got there (those lunchtime diners really know their fish). Substitutes were turbot and sweet prawn. 

The first thing you will notice is the temperature of the sushi. Its warm, like 37C warm. Temperature is important with sushi. Too cold, the flavour will be subdued and the rice will be too tough. Too hot, the rice breaks apart and the fish starts smelling funny. That’s where the skill of the sushi master comes in – the amount of time the sushi spends in his loving hands as he is making it.

The salmon melts in my mouth, the rice, perfectly vinegar-ed and its flavour accentuated with soya sauce is very appetising. The tamago is the best Ive ever had. I mean, its really just eggs on rice, but its just so perfect. Its so simple that I don’t know how else to say this, other than, its perfect nigiri.

Prices are actually quite affordable here, £2.60 for 2 pieces of salmon is pretty unbeatable, especially when it tastes this good.

Japanese do cooked food too

The menu also features a pretty impressive list of cooked dishes. They have the basics such as prawn tempura (which are excellent), teriyaki chicken/beef/salmon, chicken kaarage (deep fried), una-don (eel on rice) , tonkatsu (pork in breadcrumbs) and oyako-don (chicken on rice).

However, the highlights are other lesser advertised Japanese small dishes. Examples include grilled octupus, miso cod, deep fried oysters, steamed egg tofu, natto tuna, just to name a few. If raw fish doesnt appeal to you, then maybe come for the cooked stuff. 

I spotted something rather unique on the menu, deep fried shuimai, and really wanted to try it. It is served with tonkatsu sauce as well as finely chopped chillies and chives. The crust was very crisp and surprisingly light. Inside, chopped mushrooms and pork, chillies give it an edge and the tonkatsu sauce rounds out the flavours. Actually, this could easily be a great party starter. I like the fact that each dumpling is a self-contained parcel of joy.

The last dish was steamed egg tofu made with seaweed and chicken pieces. Off the bat, its abit too bland for me. However, the tofu was very smooth and the warmth did make me feel all fuzzy inside. Its a great winter dish I feel and its very much Japanese comfort food.

ice cream and lasting impressions

I finish my meal with azuki bean ice cream. Made from small red beans (think kidney beans but half the size), which in itself is a type of pudding. It has a distinct perfumery flavour, alittle rose like, but the sweetness is clean like rock sugar. Japanese ice cream is the complete opposite of its western counterparts. In the place of creamy, smooth sugary sweetness, we have grainy, coarse and delicate sweetness. It’ll still melt in your mouth but a little different from what you would be used to.

If red beans sound too exotic (as compared to bacon ice cream at the fat duck?), then go for the green tea ice cream. Its a classic.

I think my first ever visit to Sakura was four years ago now, eversince then, I’ve never had a bad meal and the warm melt-in-your-mouth nigiri still blows my mind everytime. I just have to go mmmmmmm……

Prices here are very reasonable, considering its Japanese in London, where in my humble opinion, charge way too much. This is one of the best Japanese places I’ve tried and has yet to be unhinged from the top of my list. Why it doesnt receive more media attention is really beyond me, its not even in the time out guide. Oh well, media propping starts here I guess, highly recommended folks.

<home

I’m not actuallly in london at the moment. I’m sightseeing in Wales. Stopping at the township of Pembroke, featuring old castles, swans, 30mph winds and heavy rain.

Did i mention the winds?

fishy pictures 

I was reading about photo essays on the digital photography school blog and thought it would be quite interesting if it was applied to food. Think m&s adverts where food takes centre stage. 

Come on fess up, you were slightly turned on by the deep sexy female voice narrating over gorgeous tastiness. Anyway, here’s my monkfish tale (pun intended) photo essay.

1. so pretty you can eat it 

Sourced locally from nearby Milford Haven, bathed in a simple garlic and olive oil juice, served with rocket and a good selection of veges on the side. 

2. exuding exquisity

A stunner from every possible angle.  

if she was a woman, i could call her Angelina..Kelly..Halle..Cheryl..Helen Mirren. The queen is so hot. 

3. eat me already, you know you want to

Pan-fried to perfection, succulent and lobster-bouncy.    

4. setting an epitome

A faraway town with a population no great than mile end crafting stunning food. This is what local produce is all about. 

5. what are you waiting for?

I never knew monkfish could look this good, and taste that good.

Hope you enjoyed that, the pictures are taken from the Old Kings Arms restaurant in Pembroke, Wales. I’ll follow up with a full review soon-ish.