Are you still stuck on plans for the festive break? I almost forgot that I had filed away this experience till I rummaged through my archives. While we were still sweltering in July, I – very enthusiastically – accepted an invitation to preview the Christmas menu aboard one of the Orient Express luxury vintage trains. We were on board The British Pullman, which was described by its originator (from the website, not sure what that exactly entails) George Mortimer Pullman, as ‘Palaces on Wheels’.

Boy it sure was fun. Yes if you are still evil eyeing me, it was a freebie. I paid zero in cash. Along with a few bloggers and journalists (Yes, journos go on freebies too evidently) , we relaxed into a carriage with wintry decorations.

Speaking of carriages, The British Pullman features 11, each with their own unique character and furnishings, all effortless charming, and all maintaining their 30′s nostalgic glamour. We were in the Vera, enjoying the plush suede (they were right??) seats, taking in the occasional visitations from the thirties style entertainers ruffling guests throughout the journey. The other Orient train is The Northern Belle, also unique in its own way.

The Christmas menu we sampled, three courses long with canapes and a cheese platter, was festive, hearty and it certainly raised my body temperature further. Challenging on a hot summer’s day, but I think it would be just right, in light of the cold winter (we are already in) ahead of us.

I checked the trains , and dates are still available for the week before and after Christmas, up to New Years Eve, prices start at £300pp, it ain’t cheap, but I found the moving feast which transposed our reality temporarily, a relaxing five hour round trip across the London and abit of the South East.

Anyway, it was a freebie, so please don’t take my word for it. But do enjoy the photo essay, I’ve so painfully created for your perusal below.

The Gist.

The Orient Express
British, £300pp
Boarding at Victoria Station.

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I was struggling with this one. I think this will be my first non-review-review since it wasn’t my intention to make the trek out to Ealing specifically to eat here.

I wouldn’t say that I was dragged either, but for a variety of reasons, I was the self-appointed photo-man for this year’s departmental christmas do. The decision to select charlotte’s place: “It had rave reviews on toptable.co.uk”

Yeah, just so you know, toptable is supposely the gold standard for company organised lunches now.

T’was a merry december menu from whence we ordered

As I said, this ain’t a review folks, this is a non-review and hence it gives me abit of space to ramble on about some other world-shaking events while you get distracted by food pictures.  

As a start, the christmas menu was £23 for three courses and had four (yes! four!) selections for each of the courses. There were 25 of us and we were spread rather comfortably over three tables in the basement. I must say, I was abit dissapointed they stuck us in the basement – not exactly sure why they would do that considering we were a thousand pounds worth of business (and potential return business).

It was particularly niggly because the upstairs was wonderfully bright and had these lovely bay windows which overlooked the common. The wooden interior were warm white walls, creaky wooden floors, dark wooden tables and leather seats. Everything was so very subtle that it had that sort of quiet english charm you know.

The hallway leading from the entrance even had a row of coat hangers too, and it felt rather like an invitation for a homely dinner…. until they led us into the windowless basement. It was a nice enough space, but four white walls and a tiny window where you could peek out to see just a slither of sunshine ( not that the sun was shining last friday ) -bah! humbug.

A tale of vinos

I sat on a table of eight and appreciated when one of my colleagues shouted “order the cheapest bottle please” because as much I love eating out, I don’t particularly enjoy paying for someone else to get drunk on posh vino. Perhaps that’s the wrong way of putting it – rather, when you’re out with a bunch of work mates, it’s the banter and laughs that you value, instead of worrying if the rhone was smooth and jammy enough to go with the foie gras.

Yeah, I want to see Jon burn his nipple hair with hot sambuca shots and I’m not too bothered if my steak was cooked to my liking or not… no I take that back, medium rare , bit of blood, pink around it, but red in the centre. 

And we’re off!

Everybody can appreciate warm bread and butter, I certainly did and it did put me in a great mood for my starter of cornfed chicken & porcini mushroom terrine, peach chutney and crisp breads.

The crisp breads were crispy and bland which was good, since I was expecting a strong flavoured terrine to top it off. While the terrine was nice, it was also abit underseasoned and the peach chutney was just unexciting. It certainly photographed well – but meh, maybe it was the fact that Jon’s bodily hair was a no-show that I found this starter tasting just alright – but wasn’t really anything to crow about.

Medium rare is not the same as medium 

I’m feeling abit self-aware. Actually it’s more like self-doubt, perhaps a better term would be self-assessment. Here’s the situation – there’s kang before L.E. (London.Eater.) and kang after L.E. , and I think B.L.E. , I used to talk about food with anyone who so much as looked at my moving lips but A.L.E. , I find myself quite happy to sit back and just enjoy a quiet meal chatting about everything other than food. ( did you know that there’s a cruise ship called ‘the world’ where you can buy up on-board flats and live on it permanently?)

I suppose its because I’m saving all my foodie thoughts for when I blog. Here’s the inherent problem – when people know you’re a food blogger, they’ll start coming up with statements to ‘challenge’ you. So here’s a (not so) hypothetical conversation:

“Hey Kang, hows the foodblog?” says dude.

“Yeah, ok i guess” says me, but wondering how that question is utterly ridiculous because if you cared even the slightest, you would just visit it.

“So are you going to review this place?” dude says.

“Erm, don’t know, may as well since I’m here.” I say.

“Here’s a question for ya: what is, in your opinion, the perfect christmas dinner?” man with the plan says.

“Well, I don’t know, roast beef?” says me. Ok , so there I was , wondering just because I blog food, does that mean I’m condemned to facing these cryptic questions expectant of some sort of bold sweeping (prophetic) reply to determine if the direction of the monsoon winds will affect the texture of asparagus?

Following his five-star showstopper he felt the need to ask the following ”How did you ask for your steak?”

“Medium rare.” says muah.

The steak sauce was alittle sweet – very nice actually considering that it was a green peppercorn sauce and the ‘shrooms were delicate.

“Wot?! Not rare?! ” He’s so appalled he’s almost falling out of his chair.

“Hm” quipped the sorrily sad self-anointed london eater… oh and my steak was pink – not med-rare as requested.

chicken legs

Yeah, I’m going to stick with roast rib of beef being ultimo christmas grub. At this point the forth bottle of cote du rhone has arrived and I’m getting a lesson in the fine art of wine appreciation as I am told that the reds of southern french chateaus of st mont are to die for.

Must try to acquire some.

Meanwhile, the rest of the mains fill the tables in the form of sage & mascarpone stuffed chicken and I am again educated that the mascapone is not really a stuffing per say, rather it is used like a butter to season the said chicken. I didn’t have the chicken, but it looked nice enough with the winter veges.

At the end of the day – it’s all just banter and a pud

The white chocolate cheesecake and raspberry coulis was a stunner. The creamy and light texture was 7th heaven for me with the depth of white chocolate filling the flavour profile and blending nicely with the cheesiness. The raspberry sauce was subtle instead of sharp – but like the rest of the food here, everything seems abit sterile while good, didnt seem to attack the senses.

Yes I did enjoy the banter even though my mate felt the need to advise me of his gold standard choice of chablis. I refrained from rolling my eyes and thought that he must be barking mad telling me that £34 on a petit chablis is a good choice when that money could have been better spent on two and a half bottles of excellent vourays from berry bros.   

Would I go back to Charlottes? If I lived in ealing, yes for convenience. Otherwise, probably not. Don’t get me wrong, for the price, food is not bad – it’s just nothing special. You’ll do better spending your lunch money at sophie’s for steak or a pig’s head at arbutus.

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It’s not long now before I break out the reindeer sleights and go ho ho ho across the London skyline… hey it’s Christmas – miracles do happen. I’m taking a break from the usual eating, because it’s chrissymas! Chrissymas is one of my favourite holidays because, well, my company is closed for 10 days and I don’t have to work. But it also gives me an excuse to cosy up without being dodgy. Most of all, chrissymas means yet more reasons to buy gifts and more gifts. Ah yes, tis’ the season to be jolly.

So are you starting to think about your Christmas shopping yet? Well I am and if you’re stuck, then here’s some ideas to work up those warm wintery holiday feelings.

1. Personalise a moo portrait

I’m sure you’ve heard about this great little company called moo that does personalised cards, note cards, business cards which allows you to upload any pictures you want and print them for reasonable prices. This year, they’ve unleashed the moo portrait frame which lets you shuffle about the mini-moo cards and arrange them in which ever way you wish , making for a ‘new’ portrait every time you get bored of it hanging on the wall. Anyway, this would make for a great idea for loved ones instead of the mandatory knitwear don’t you think? You can also personalise and make your own christmas cards too, so what are you waiting for? There is no better occasion to moo than now.

2. The self sustaining ecosphere

Alright, I’m a sucker for gadgets.

Especially the really cool ones. This one in particular is uber-cool. It’s a self sustaining closed (nope you can’t reach inside) mini living world which needs no maintanence aside from the odd tank cleaning (using the magnet operated internal scrubber) and plenty of sunshine for sustenance. In the same way our world is dependent upon the sun for enrichment, so is this mini-world. The inhabitants are these tiny shrimps who mate and reproduce like they’re the only two shrimps left in the world. The oxygen is produced from the plants, CO2 get absorbed by the plants and the vegetation also act as food for the beloved shrimplites, whose decomposing wastes gets chewed up by bacteria and ultimate go back to the greens for sustenance. It’s a living world encased in glass.. brilliant!!

If you’re in London, I’ve seen them being sold at the RED5 gadget shop on the 1st floor in Westfields. Otherwise, you can order directly from their website here. If you know somebody (like me) who appreciates life and pets (esp self-sustaining ones) then this is the ideal gift.

3. Iberico Ham

Without question, the best ham in the world. The pigs are fed on an acorn diet and treating like pig-kings. Their legs are then hung for up to 36 months and the end result is this moist, smooth, chewy yet soft texture which is very uniquely different to any other hams. The best ibericos are nutty, sweet (like acorns) , mature , savoury and really appetising. In London, Selfridges are exclusively importing this stuff directly from Spain. Be forewarned, it’s pricy (£15 per 100g) but you’ll love it. Perfect as an alternative to the mandatory bottle of wine for when you are visiting the in-laws.

4. Villandry christmas hampers

I had a quick peek at these. While I’m abit sceptical about hampers in general , villandry’s stuff looks really good and while the prices seem abit exuberant, the one in the picture is the ultimate ‘christmas carol‘ at a hefty £350, it is packed with far too much goodness for me to list. Perhaps you could look into the more slim line boxing day morning hamper at a more reasonable £55.

For those of you among us who are profiteering in the global recession. Read more here.

5. The x-factor christmas number one

Ok, none of the ones left are going to be the next Leona Lewis, but Cheryl Cole stole my heart a lot time ago and I’m (shamelessly) supporting whatever she does.

(Cheryl, are you reading this? All I want is a quick peck on the cheek)

6. Book an expensive hotel in the city for a cheap price

Rumour has it that the great big smoke that is London becomes and empty ghost town come Christmas day. And that means that all the five star establishments suddenly become as cheap as chips. If you’re not entertaining the in laws by the fireplace then head on over to superbreak.com for some super deals, make sure you get one close to the shops just so you’ll be first in line for boxing day sales. I’ve got my eye on a brown ted baker ‘endurance’ range, slim cut please. Also, do  make sure you check the hotel out on tripadvisor.com for peace of mind.

7. Donate to a charity

Bah hambug. You don’t believe in the spirit of St. Nick then at least believe in the goodness of giving. On my visit to hibiscus, £1 was optionally added to my bill. It turns out this £1 was for a charity called streetsmart that helps get the homeless off the streets of London. Yes, I know there’s plenty of other charities who need help, but I see the homeless outside Gloucester road station every day, if there is a concerted effort to help these folks, then I’ll do my part. Besides, I’m sure every little bit go a long way. Read more here.

8. Mini pet cactus

I’m a sucker for cool gadgets. I found this self-sustaining mini cactus key ring through legal andrew which pointed me to the think geek website where they sell a range of cool, albeit geeky scientific gadgets. All very cool and I’m loving the mini cactus. Its soaked in a magically blue gel.. And it’s alive!!

Only problem is they only ship within the states and that they don’t ship to the UK. (wink, hint, wink, hint, wink,wink, hint)

9. Robotic chick

This is from the same website which sell cool and absolutely useless gadgets (emphasis on cool). Come on, who wouldn’t love a cute robotic chick for Christmas?

Same problem again, no shipping outside of US. (not so hard winks on this one)

10. If you really need to get a bottle of wine

Then head on over to the Oddbins Fine wine branch in Notting Hill Gate and pick up a bottle of the very fine David Duband range. 2005 was a great year for burgundies, as it has been for the past couple of years, sparking some sort of revival after a series of appalling vintages (97 through to 03). More detail here.

11. Of course, if you’re going out for a Christmas meal…

…. Go have some awesome German saugages, german potatoes, go on the great big slide and have some chocolate smothered bananas at the hyde park winter wonderland!

12. …but If you really, really need to eat out then

I suggest you go for broke at Hibiscus. It really is lovely.

Now go out and be jolly.

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